====================================================================== ========================== ======================== ======================== PEBBLES PRESS ======================= ========================== ======================== ====================================================================== ``The Straight Poop on Heather'' 14 December 1995 Vol. 2, No. 3 Editor-in-chief: Heather Contributing Editors: John & Marie Fashion Editor: Aunt Susan Contributing Poet: Hinkmond Wong ************************************************** ************************************************** *** SPECIAL HOLIDAY ISSUE *** ************************************************** ************************************************** -- POETRY! WE GET POETRY! [Contributed by an esteemed reader:] Another fine edition of the Pebbles Press! I found Heather's glossary to be quite interesting. She has a vast enough vocabulary to become somewhat poetic at this point in time. Wouldn't it be glorious if she were to suddenly utter a bit of poetry from her crib? ;-) Teddy run up, Susie sit-down, Cookie push Ernie, Elmo kick clown. Big Bird not-going, no-go-'way, Gamma buttdat cookie? Baby yummy, yay! Cory help push choo-choo, Uh-oh, kikky/kah go poo-poo! Daddy, climb tree? Apple bucket em-mee. Fowow, water, bread, Buttsdis, monkey head? Buh-ee walk water, diaper dirty, Ross, tee-sa, Meaghan all-done pee-pee. Good tickle, read book, moon eye, Pebbles go night-night, baby buh-bye. Well, it's not Keats... but, it has a rhythm to it... :-) Hinkmond Wong -- MOTOR DEVELOPMENT UPDATE Heather is running! Climbing! Swinging by her hands! Throwing! Really trying to jump (but her feet don't actually get off the ground)! Her fine motor control is really amazing too. She's great with a fork and spoon, and draws really well for a 20-month-old (at least *I* think she does). One day at an unnamed junk-food restaurant where we would *never* feed our precious child, Heather got a plastic "storefront" in her Happy Meal (oops, gave it away) with a card that you could slide through the slot on the front so you'd see the people on the card through the "windows" of the store. I pulled the card out and handed the two pieces to Heather; of course she couldn't fit them together, so she pushed them towards each other, and then said "hep, hep". So I did it for her, but left it sticking out a bit so she could pull it out. She pulled it out, looked at it, tried shoving them towards each other, then backed off, and carefully inserted the card into the slot. I couldn't believe she had the fine motor coordination to do it -- it wasn't that easy for ME to do. She does get really frustrated when she tries to do something and can't, either because she doesn't have the strength or because she doesn't have the coordination. See "ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT" for more on the results of said frustration. -- TRAVEL UPDATE Heather hasn't been traveling but everybody else has, so adding in the fact that she started in a new room at day care since the last issue (see SCHOOL DAYS), things have been chaotic and unsettling. I went on my first long trip away from Heather in September -- I went to a project meeting in Pittsburgh, then visited CMU and the University of Massachussetts in Amherst to give talks and meet with people. I spent the weekend in between meetings in Boston. It was a really nice trip, and it was nice to have some time to myself, but I was a little worried about how Heather would take it. She seemed to do okay. I made a special tape for her -- I taped myself singing lullabies -- and I put some pictures of me on a little photo keychain she has. I told her in advance that I'd be leaving for a few days, which upset her (until I said "I'm not leaving *now*"), but I don't think she really understood how long I'd be gone. John said she did pretty well -- had a few restless nights, and listening to the lullaby tape made her more upset instead of soothing her (I guess it reminded her that I wasn't there). She was VERY happy to see me when I picked her up at day care the day I got back!! John went to a conference in New Orleans over Hallowe'en. Heather and I had fun dressing her up as a lobster, going to my office's Hallowe'en party, and answering the door for trick-or-treaters. At first, she was afraid of the scary masks, but I told her "Heather, if it's scary, just yell 'boo! go away!' and that worked." We also went to a local kiddie amusement park together (see FUN 'N' GAMES), which was fun. She missed Daddy, though, and would sometimes remember that he was gone and get very sad, especially when she saw an airplane (she knew he had left on an airplane). The airport is becoming a traumatic place for her. I took another trip in November, to Boston for a conference, then to Mississippi for a couple of days to visit Penny. Aunt Barbara came out to visit just before I left, and Heather had a great time with her. Unfortunately, when Barbara left a couple of days before I got back, Heather really fell apart. John's dad also visited, in September, and loved getting to spend time with his granddaughter. (We loved the free babysitting.) Uncle David also visited, over Thanksgiving. Heather initially refused (very coyly) to say his name in front of him -- she'd say it to me, but if she thought he was paying attention, she'd just grin and peer out at him from under her lashes. But she really liked him, and was even very good for him one night when we left them home together, and went out to dinner and a movie. I've also joined a choir and a book club, so I've been gone one night a week (plus extra rehearsals lately!) for choir, and one night a month for book club (when I'm not traveling). And of course, Daddy's frequently busy with homework and studying, so he's often working. -- ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT Heather is really lots of fun. Really. Well, most of the time. She just likes to have things her way. All of the time. We're gradually developing new ways of making our lives run smoothly -- most of which involve letting her have some control over what's going on, while still getting where we need to go. For example, she'll happily walk to the car, and from the car into school, if you ask her to carry her lunch bag. Before she goes to bed every night, she sits in the rocking chair with one of us and we read books to her. Sometimes she'd throw a tantrum when we said it was time to stop reading and go to bed. The solution? - let her take the book she's been reading to bed! She falls asleep clutching it. One day we made strawberry-banana pancakes (for TKP snack) together. She "helped" me stir (I gave her her own fork so she could do her thing while I actually stirred); she munched on the strawberries while I cut them up. Then I had to take the bowl away from her to go over to the stove, and she started to protest loudly. So I had a brilliant inspiration -- I went and got a little bowl and put a little bit of batter in it, and told her to keep stirring that. Worked like a charm! We also try to find times when we can just completely let her guide things -- we put ourselves at her disposal when she's playing at home ("Mommy sit here! Daddy [eat] soup!") or go for walks where she can lead the way and decide where she wants to go. She's very good about following the rules (no picking up trash off the ground, no going places we tell her not to go, and absolutely never step in the street unless she's holding a grownup's hand). In fact, one day I had taken her outside the restaurant where we were having brunch so she could run around a bit, and she was running back and forth across the patio. I had told her when we got there not to go down the steps to the street, and pointed them out; she had totally stayed away from there. But there was a bike-stand area that was in a concrete area a few inches below the brick patio, so there was a short curb there. She walked over, stood on the edge, looked down, said "no" to herself while shaking her head, then looked up at me and said "street." I was very proud of her. She's starting to have a sense of time (future reward for good behavior in the present), so sometimes if you remind her what's going to happen next, she's willing to wait ("we're getting a Juice Club, but we have to wait in line first. Let's watch them make it.") One day, a few months ago, when we were waiting in a checkout line, she started to throw a tantrum -- she obviously didn't want to be sitting in the cart. I had mentioned earlier that we could get frozen yogurt after we picked up the pictures, so when she started fussing, I said "we have to wait in line to pay for the pictures, and after that we can get frozen yogurt. But if you're crying, we won't be able to stay. So you have to stop crying while we wait in line, then we can have yogurt." I didn't think she'd really understand me, but she stopped fussing to listen to me, and didn't cry any more after that. Amazing. Tantrums are tough though. In full-blown tantrum mode, which generally only happens at home (and not very frequently) she runs around the house, screaming "no no no!" or maybe "mine mine mine!" or maybe just yelling. She throws herself on the floor and kicks her feet, or plops down and bends in half, then rolls around crying, then runs from room to room again. She won't let any grownup come near her, but cries if you walk away from her. Usually they only last 5 or 10 minutes, or even less, but we've clocked some of her tantrums at 45+ minutes. One book I read had a description of a tantrum that lasted "six long minutes," which just made me laugh hysterically. In full-blown tantrum mode, it really doesn't help to hold her, so we just tell her "I know you're mad, I'll be here if you want to come over," put her down, and let her go at it for a while. Every ten minutes or so we'll go over and offer something that might distract her (book, food, drink, holding her, going outside). Eventually this works a little (maybe she sobs "yes," or just doesn't try to pull away). Occasionally the distraction ends it; sometimes it keeps going on. One day, when I was trying to eat my lunch (Heather had already eaten), she wanted my soda, so I went and got her juice, which made her happy for a couple of minutes. Then she wanted my crayon (pen -- any writing implement is a "cayon" to Heather), so I sat her up in her high chair with some markers and paper. That worked for a while, and she was happily drawing, but then she decided she wanted my soda again (I think). This time when I said no and offered her juice, she went ballistic. I couldn't get her to calm down in the chair, so I took her out, and she just kept yelling "mine, mine, mine" and generally tantruming. So I put her down on the floor and went back to eating my lunch. (I read a column in a parenting magazine called "Step Over the Body" -- that about sums up my philosophy.) She ran into the living room, threw herself against the bedroom door, and wailed for a while. After 2 failed attempts to console her (and leaving her a while longer), I went over and asked her if she wanted some french fries with ketchup. Almost immediately, she stopped crying, looked at me, and said "yes" (still sobbing and hiccuping, though). She sat up in her chair eating french fries for a while, then wanted to draw again so I let her. After about two minutes, she said "all done." I got her down and tried to finish eating. After playing for a few minutes, she came over and wanted to draw some more. I said "you said you were all done," and before I even had the chance to actually say "no" she went into tantrum mode again. This time it took me another two or three consoling attempts, before she let me hold her, and then I said "do you want to curl up and go to sleep?" She said yes, so we curled up on the sofa, and within 5 minutes she was sound asleep. Another day, we were at a local ice cream parlor having a treat (this was the day I got back from my first trip). She was doing really well until she decided she needed TWO spoons -- hers and John's -- and wouldn't give me one back. So he just went and got another spoon, which settled things for a while. But then she dropped one of her spoons on the floor and reached over to take mine. I said "no, this is Mommy's spoon, I'm eating ice cream too" and before I could say anything else she went into tantrum mode. I immediately scooped her up and took her outside, sat down in front of the store, and said "we can't stay inside when you're crying. when you're stop crying we can go back in and finish the ice cream" -- and almost immediately she stopped crying. I told her if she had another tantrum we'd have to throw away the ice cream and go home. I had also told her (before we went) that eventually the ice cream would be all-gone, and then there wouldn't be any more, and she shouldn't cry, because there wouldn't be any more whether or not she did. Maybe it was a coincidence, but these explanations seemed to work -- she didn't cry any more, and when she did try to take my spoon, she gave me her spoon in return. When the ice cream was gone, she said "all-done! trash!" and we went over and threw the empty cup and spoon away together. No tears! She's still pacifier addicted. I recently read an article about the American Academy of Pediatrics' recommendations for getting babies to develop good sleep habits. It says, and I quote, "Don't allow the baby to take a pacifier to bed. If she learns to depend on the pacifier to put herself to sleep, she'll need you to help her find it when she wakes up at 3 a.m." Yeah, right. This baby has her pacifier retrieval routine down so solid she can do it in her sleep. And I'm trying to imagine how we would have gotten Heather to sleep in the first place without a pacifier. It's not a pretty mental image. -- TODDLER DINING Dining is not necessarily Heather's top activity any more. She's still pretty broad-minded about what she'll eat, but is getting less and less likely to choose to eat at all (or at least to eat much).` Apparently at day care none of the kids eat their lunches -- certainly Heather doesn't, since almost everything we send with her is still left at the end of the day. I think they just have BIG mid-morning (around 9:30) and mid-afternoon (around 3:30) snacks, and nibble at lunchtime (11:30). Some of Heather's favorite foods, at least some of the time, are soup (she's really obsessed with soup, especially clear-broth type soups; mostly I think she likes practicing her dexterity, and making a big mess), potstickers and other dim sum, hot dogs (well, those used to be her absolute number one favorite, but the last few times I've given them to her she hasn't touched them), pizza (if the planets are aligned correctly), ham or turkey sandwiches (ditto), fruit (always), cereal (definitely always), raisin bread (every morning, first thing, without fail, and woe be the parent that runs out of raisin bread!), Juice Club (that's a smoothie, or blended fruit drink -- she'll NEVER pass one of these up!). -- SCHOOL DAYS She loves TKP! The first two weeks were pretty bad sleep-wise, though -- she was up a couple of times a night, almost every night, and was often cranky at home, throwing some of her truly notable tantrums. Even now she sometimes cries very hard when we leave, but she's joyously happy for the whole day, and has obviously been having fun whenever we get there to pick her up. And some days she doesn't cry at all, especially if we can time it so we leave during snack time or story time (Heather is ALWAYS happy during story time; I think the only time she really throws tantrums at day care is when story time is over). Co-oping can be a bit tough, since she tends to be clingy while we're around (and I think she's sometimes upset that we showed up at day care, but aren't taking her home). But one of the teachers, Maria, is the mom of one of Heather's friends from CIP1 (who's now in a different classroom, since she's older than Heather). Maria's been on maternity leave, but started in TKP again a couple of weeks ago. Heather's very fond of Maria, and very comfortable around her; last time I co-oped, Heather was off hanging out with with Maria. In fact, she had all but one of the kids sitting around her in a big circle, doing some activity or another; later, all but a different one of the kids quietly sat lined up on a log, waiting for Maria to read books to them. You have to realize how AMAZING it is to see 10 toddlers lined up quietly -- it's like the Harmonic Convergence or something. -- HEALTH NEWS No news is good news! So far, we've made it through the cold-and-flu season with no major catastrophes. I, however, sprained my ankle. Again. But I kept off it completely for a day, and it's healing much better than the last time. Although Heather hasn't been sick, we've been to the doctor's office a couple of times for well-baby visits, and once or twice when she had a fever (but it didn't seem to be anything real). She used to be quite happy at the doctor's office, except when she was getting things poked in her ears or getting a shot, but she throws a BIG fit as soon as we walk into the examining room. We still love Dr. Laurie, but Heather has decided she's The Enemy. Two of her eyeteeth are in, and the other two are coming in -- this has been going on, on and off, since September or so. Why doesn't she just get it over with? She gained 1/2 an inch from her 15-month to her 18-month appointment -- but lost an ounce. Go figure. Our petite Heather. Mommy, however, sprained her ankle. -- ALL THE POOP THAT'S S*IT TO PRINT [Warning: not for the squeamish] We have no exciting poop news this month. One of these days we'll be able to tell you that she poops in the toilet, but not any time soon, is my guess. I do think she knows when she's pooped, but if you ask her "did you poop?" she says "no!" quite violently. She REALLY hates getting her diaper changed. Though one time, right after she pooped, she came over to me and said "babboo" -- I think she realized she needed a clean diaper, and we usually let her have her pacifier while she's being changed. [Will you squeamish people QUIT reading the part that's clearly marked "not for the squeamish" and QUIT complaining? Jeez.] -- BABY TALK This child is just an unbelievable talker. She's now saying lots of 2-word, 3-word, and even the occasional 4-word sentence. Most importantly, though, she finally calls me Mommy! Heather has many uses for the word NO, as you can imagine a verbal toddler might -- she uses it not only to answer a yes-no question in the negative, but to indicate her lack of desire to do something, to say out loud that she's not supposed to do something (see ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT for an example), and to indicate that she got a question wrong ("what's this?" (pointing to a lizard) "snake... no..."). She also knows how to say "YES" to answer a yes-no question positively, though, and she really seems to enjoy saying it -- she always gets a big grin, then says "YES!" ("Heather, are you wearing a hat?" "YES!") Her pronounciation is getting so much better -- she's very understandable a lot of the time, even to strangers. (Then again, sometimes even *I* can't understand her.) It's sort of sad when her baby pronunciations go away, though. She used to say "namma" for "banana," then went through an intermediate stage where she said something like "bammamma" that kept changing every time she tried to say it; now she very clearly says "ba-na-na!" Words & phrases: interesting words (only a partial list) * adjectives/concepts: heavy, big, little, dark (sssh! quiet!), lights on! * verbs: running, walking, sleeping, climbing, swinging, sliding, hiding * emotions (she loves books and pictures where she can recognize the emotions of the characters): mad, happy, sad, sleepy * amazingly obscure/difficult words: dolphin, seal, whale, walrus, rhinoceros, hippopotamus, decoration, California (she has no idea what it means, but loves to say it), iguana * often uses the plural "s" appropriately 'sentences' * noun-verb ("Mommy running" "Heather sitting down" "Elmo sleeping" "Daddy hold it" "Mommy find it" "train coming! ding ding ding!" "'nother train coming! ding ding ding!") * compound nouns ("crossing gate" "raisin bread") * adjective-noun ("mad piggie" "happy Mommy" "red car" "little book") * possessives ("Heather's book" "Mommy's shoe" "Daddy's slippers" and recently even "MY babboo!") * object identification ("there's the bear!" "here it is!" "this is 'I Can'" (one of her library books)) She can also recite Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (and often goes around the house chanting it to herself), most of the alphabet song, and can count (with prompting: "and what comes after 5?") from 1 to 10. Only when she's in the mood, though, which means that mostly she won't do any of this in public. I like to talk to her when I pick her up from day care and ask her about her day. Typical conversation: Mom: Did you have fun at school today? Who did you play with? Heather: Theo! M: Who else? H: Reid! (thinking) Ryan! (thinking more) Amy! M: What did you do with Theo? H: Theo... hug! M: Did you give Theo a hug? That's very nice. What did you do with Reid? H: Spash! Heather spash! M: Did you play in the water with Reid? H: (with a big grin and nod) YES! M: Your hair is very pretty today. Who did your ponies? (what she calls ponytails or any hair arrangement -- sometimes she gets French braids or a little bun!) H: Te-REEsa ponies! (her old teacher from CIP1 comes in to fill in on Thursday afternoons when the TKP teachers have their group meeting, and she's the acknowledged hair genius) M: Okay, let's go home now. What do you want for dinner? H: (thinking) Pizza dinner!! M: Okay, I think we have pizza. Do you want some milk with it? H: Milk! Heather... milk! -- FUN 'N' GAMES Heather loves pretending! She pretends to make planes (or any random object that she feels like pretending is a plane) fly through the air. She pretends to make and eat soup, pancakes, pie, and cake in her kitchen. She toddles around the house with her canteen slung over her shoulder, pretending to drink out of it and saying "mmm! coffee!" She pretends to make her Sesame Street action figures go down a pretend slide I built out of blocks, and pretends to make them go to sleep and wake up ("g'morning!") in a pretend house I built out of Legos. While John was out of town, Heather and I went to Happy Hollow Park and Zoo, a kiddie amusement park in San Jose. It was lots of fun. Heather loved the animals, and was fascinated watching the rides, but every time she said she wanted to go on, and I'd try to put her on, she'd freak out and get very upset. So we skipped them (but I kept going along with it if she asked to try). Finally, towards the end, she wanted to go on this little roundabout ride with police cars and fire cars. I told her I thought it might be too scary, but she could ride if she wanted to. This time the cars were low down to the ground, and I had the inspiration of letting her walk in, pick out her own car, and climb in by herself. Worked like a charm -- she loved it. Then she didn't want to get off, of course, Current favorite fads: trains (especially Thomas the Tank Engine), tunnels of any sort, Mr. Frumble (or any Richard Scarry book or character), Sesame Street, slippers (especially grown-up size ones), her new kitchen (we got her a play kitchen for Christmas and set it up early - she loves it!), shoulder bags (especially Mommy's fanny pack, or her plastic pumpkin), pumpkins. Somehow she got it into her head that one has to play "games!" while lying down on one's tummy. Preferably wearing Daddy's Gumby slippers (which are HUGE on her). We play a very simple version of concentration, block-matching games, and a card-matching game from Sesame Street. These are all so far beyond her tiny mental capabilities it reminds us how young she really is, even though sometimes she seems wise beyond her years. Of course, her all-time favorite activity is still reading books. The first thing she wants to do every morning is cuddle. The next thing is to read books. The third thing is raisin bread. This kid has her priorities straight -- education before nutrition. -- FASHION We are delaying this column until after the Christmas deluge of new fashions. We might simply remark to any grandmas or aunts who are listening that Heather could really use a pair of rain boots, size 6. -- STAY TUNED Next time, it will be next year!