====================================================================== ========================== ======================== ======================== PEBBLES PRESS ======================= ======================= and ====================== ======================== TWINKIE TRIBUNE ======================= ========================== ======================== ====================================================================== ``The Straight Poop on Heather and Twinkie'' 5 September 1996 Vol. 3, No. 2 Editor-in-chief: Heather Contributing Editors: John & Marie Editor-in-utero: Twinkie Fashion Editor: Aunt Susan ************************************************** ************************************************** *** EXTRA! EXTRA! *** *** READ ALL ABOUT IT! *** *** HEATHER POOPS IN POTTY! *** *** (see ALL THE POOP THAT'S S*IT TO PRINT) *** ************************************************** ************************************************** -- TWINKIE TALK I'm sure by now, you've noticed our new masthead. In honor of our soon-to-be-contributing editor, we've changed our name and added this new column to keep you up to date on developments in the Twinkie arena. (In a few months, you can expect a Sibling Rivalry column, no doubt.) We had an ultrasound a few weeks ago, and everything is normal, on schedule, healthy, and wonderful. They said they were pretty sure it was a girl, but didn't want to make any promises -- anyway, it's either a girl or an underendowed boy. So for the time being, I'm going to use the pronoun "she" most of the time, with an occasional "he" tossed in to keep you all on your toes, and remind you that we won't really know until the fat lady sings. (HEY, WHO ARE YOU CALLING FAT??) My body continues to burgeon, blossom, and bulge. Twinkie has been kicking, cartwheeling, and kvetching. Also, she's advocating awful alliteration. Can anybody help?!! Seriously, though, folks. After a slow start, the Twinkster has become a very active little fetus. She's moody, though -- some days she mopes around and hardly kicks me at all. Then the next days she gives me a good hard one in the spleen just to remind me she's still there. I'm planning on taking maternity leave starting at the beginning of December (Twinkie's due to arrive Dec. 30). Hopefully that will give me a few weeks to rest up, organize everything around the house, and get all of our Christmas shopping done! After the baby's born, I'll stay home three months, then probably go back to work 3 days a week for another 3 months. During that time, John will be watching the baby while I'm working. (That's how we arranged things after Heather was born, and it worked great.) Starting next July or so, the baby will be at CCSC, the same day care as Heather. -- MY COUSIN AMANDA Heather and Twinkie have a cousin! Uncle Eddie and Aunt Donna adopted a baby girl from Korea. She was born on Feb. 21 (Aunt Susan's 30th birthday!), but she just arrived a few weeks ago. They went down to New York to pick her up at the airport (the adoption agency arranged for somebody to fly over with her). Father and Aunts Barbara and Maria went along, and they all fell in love instantly. From all reports, and from the pictures, she's sweet, adorable, and charming. One of our primary purposes in visiting the east coast in October is to meet her. We can't wait! (And if it turns out that our next baby *is* a girl, just imagine these three adorable little girl cousins, within 3 years of each other, all running around playing together. On the other hand, if it turns out that our next baby is a boy, just think how outnumbered the poor little guy will be.) -- ALL THE POOP THAT'S S*IT TO PRINT In honor of the big news of this issue, we've moved this column up and removed the disclaimer, as I'm sure that even the squeamish among you will want to read about Heather's proud achievement. Heather's been sitting on the potty now and then, but has never successfully generated any output at those times. She's gotten more interested recently, since there's a little girl in her daycare who just potty trained, and wears big-girl underpants now. She shows her interest by asking to sit on the potty a lot, by wanting to watch us go to the bathroom, and by wanting to see what's in her diaper (I'll leave it at that, since I left off the disclaimer). Last night, I was sure the little imp had a poopy diaper, but she kept saying "No, Mommy, don't change it!" Finally I insisted, and she said "I hafta go poop in the potty." Since I thought she'd already gone, it seemed a bit late, but we encourage her to sit whenever she feels inspired to, so I said okay. When I took her diaper off, it was clean, and I said "hey, let's get you on right away!" She wanted me to read books to her, and I was only too eager to comply. (If we don't keep her at least a tad entertained, she tends to sit for about 5 seconds and then say "I'm all done!") Six books, and a few face- straining false alarms, later, I heard a little plop and said "Heather, I think you made something!!!" Of course, she immediately said "Can I see?" She stood up, took a look, and we were both VERY excited to see that there was actually something in the potty! She helped me dump it out, wipe, and flush, then washed her hands. (Hygienic little girl, our Heather.) Later, we all went out to celebrate -- she chose McDonald's for dinner, and then we had ice cream. She even wore underpants for the rest of the evening, although that also led to another first: she wet her pants for the first time while we were having ice cream. Oh, well. You win some, you lose some. -- TRANSITIONS I guess pooping in the potty was Heather's way of celebrating the fact that she's officially a Little Kid -- this week is her first week at Little Kids' Place, the older-toddler room at CCSC. She's doing amazingly well. In fact, she's been much more pleasant the past few days than she was over the long holiday weekend. Not that she was AWFUL over the weekend (though she certainly had her awful moments), she just required an inordinate amount of effort and attention. Maybe she missed all the activity of school, and seeing her friends. Also, she was home with Grandma all day Thursday and Friday, and then Friday night and Sunday night. She was extra-good for Grandma, so my theory is she saved up all of her orneriness for us. Anyway, she's been really sweet and fun the last few days, seems to be having a great time at school, and is obviously happy to be there. I think it really helps that most of her friends from TKP moved to LKP with her, and she visited over there a lot, so she knows all of the teachers. She hasn't been crying when we leave in the morning, which is good, though sometimes she looks like she'd really like to. This morning was our first co-op, and that went well (she only threw one tantrum!). When I told her I was leaving, though, she first said "Don't go! Stay a while!" Then when I picked her up and said I had to go to work, she turned to look over into the TKP yard and said "I want to go to MY school" (meaning TKP). I felt so sad! I told her that now LKP was her school, and pointed out all the great things they have there (little playhouses, a bigger climbing structure, a bike path around the yard). She seemed okay with that. By the way, she's well established in her big-girl bed (hasn't asked to sleep in the crib in weeks, and the last couple of times she did ask, she was easily convinced to stay in the bed). Sometimes she even gets up in the morning all by herself, and comes toddling into our room. Usually the first words out of her mouth are "I want one cookie!" (Mark Rasch must have been teaching her lawyer stuff last time she was here -- if you tell her she can't have a cookie, she says "just ONE cookie!" and if you say she has to leave the playground in one minute, she says "No, we'll leave in TWO minutes." She's definitely an expert in the fine art of negotiation. Her courtroom theatrics (a.k.a. tantrums) are pretty impressive as well.) She continues, however, to be utterly and hopelessly dependent on her babboo ("sometimes my mommy calls it a pacifier"). She has one in the car (and will ask for it even as she climbs in), and has escalated to TWO at night. (She lost her babboo in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, and rather than hunting for it in the dark, I just brought another one. In the morning, when I walked in, she looked up, grinned, and said "I have TWO babboos!" After that, she insisted that she was entitled to two every night. Since it means she has an incentive to climb into bed of her own volition, we gave in.) -- LETTERS, WE GET LETTERS We had an overwhelming response to our Twinkie announcement. 100% of the respondents who already have two children or more cheered our decision, though our keen intuition detected a slight hint of cynicism behind their congratulations. Jacques Hugon wrote: > PPS: Congrats on Twinkie. Your life will now become pure unadulterated > hell!, unless you are smart enough to go back to work after a few months. and Mark Burstein contributes: > Congratulations! Now you'll have to go to the person-to-person defense! > Say goodbye to the last of your free time (and another couple hours per day > of sleep (average). Hmm, do you think they're trying to tell us something? Jody Forehand points out another possible danger: > Congratulations to you and John! I'm looking forward to the Baby Twinkie > updates, but are you sure that one household can handle all that many > geniuses? The children might discover cold fusion (or something equally > and impressively dangerous) while you're distracted with dinner > preparations. I know how to babyproof a room, but does anybody out there have tips on cold-fusion-proofing a room? Help! -- BABY TALK It's not really possible any more to keep up with Heather's verbal development, or to describe the way she converses. You just have to see if for yourself. She constructs long, complex sentences, using connectives like "because" and "so," and words like "would" and "should." She'll tell long stories--patchworks of things I told her, things that happened to her, things she read in her books, and things she invented out of whole cloth. Some anecdotes (okay, not all of these *really* belong in BABY TALK, though she says something in each of them...): ... John was trying to get her to eat something from his plate, and she kept saying no. I was about to tell him to quit it, when she turned to him, put out her hand, and said "Please. Stop." It was TOO funny. We just couldn't stop laughing. ... One day, we went to Price Club, and as we were walking through the parking lot, Heather said "a long time ago, it was raining." John looked astonished, and told me that a few months ago, they had come to Price Club, and it was raining outside, so they ran in, but forgot something from the car, and had to run back out and inside again. He hadn't mentioned it again since then. She really has a phenomenal memory. ... One night after we'd gone out to a movie, and not gotten to bed until 1 a.m., Heather woke up crying at 7. She lay quietly in our bed for about half an hour, then she started getting more and more squirmy. Eventually I said, "Heather, Daddy and I are still sleeping, but if you want, you can get up and go play in the other room." She thought for a second or two, and says "Okay," tossed down her babboo, climbed out of bed, and went toddling off. That was around 7:30. We both fell back asleep, and I didn't wake up again until *9:00*. I thought for sure she had either fallen asleep somewhere or gotten into horrible trouble, but no, she saw me when I sat up, and came running in, saying "Hi mommy! Are you awake now? Can I have some raisin bread?" I don't really know what she was doing that whole time -- she hadn't gotten that many toys or books out, but somehow she managed to entertain herself. When I asked her, she said "I was playing in my kitchen. And I played with my tiger." ... We went to the wading pool when Barbara was visiting. Heather was definitely trying to win an award for the cutest kid in the pool -- for about 10 minutes, she was playing this game where she'd climb onto the step around the edge, sit down in the (cold) water, yell "bwww!! it's cold on my bottom!", then jump up, climb out, and run away from the water yelling, then run back giggling. ... Here's a typical bedtime ritual, on one of her less-cooperative days: "NO, I'm not done playing yet! I don't want to put my jammies on! NONONONONO don't pick me up! WAAHHHHH! .... Don't change my diaper, Mommy, I want to keep my pants on! I need to go play! I don't want to brush my teeth! Don't brush my teeth, Mommy! Don't do it, don't do it, no no no no! WAAHHHHHH! ... You're pulling my hair, stop pulling, it hurts, ow! I don't want to wear THOSE pajamas! WAAAHHHHH! ... I hafta go play, I'm not done playing, I don't want to sit with you, WAAAHHHHH I want my babboo! .... Just one more book, Mommy, just one more book! ..." ... The other day, she had a poopy diaper, and didn't want me to change it. Finally, I insisted, and she gave in with poor grace. Afterwards, I said, "There, doesn't that feel better, now that your bottom is all clean?" She looked at me and said "I 'pweciate it." ... The other day, I asked her, "Heather, who loves you?" and she thought, then said "My daddy loves me!" I said, "But Heather, *I* love you too!" and she giggled and said "*YOU* don't love me." (then looked at a nearby shelf for inspiration) "The BOTTLES love me." What a sense of the absurd this child has. -- TRIPS 'N' VISITORS Hmm, let's see. Penny and Ross visited, which was great. Heather and Ross had a blast together -- they really get along well, and had a terrific time playing together. They were making up all of these games and activities to do together -- cooking in the kitchen, dragging pillows and blankets all around the house to take pretend naps, reading books together. Right after they left, Uncle David came for the Fourth of July weekend. Heather really likes Uncle David, but she always acts so bashful around him. He brought her a new Alexander book, which she couldn't get enough of. He also babysat for her a couple of times so John and I could get away. He hadn't been feeling that well, and I think managing Heather for the couple of hours before she went to bed just about did him in! Barbara came out for a wedding in August, and spent a couple of days visiting with us, including a night in the Mark Hopkins hotel in San Francisco before the wedding. We had a great time, even though John was out of town. We went up and spent a couple of days in San Francisco -- had crepes together, went to a new playground, had a picnic in the park with the Marsh clan and then went to the aquarium. Grandma Mary just left after a Labor Day long-weekend visit. She also kindly provided babysitting services (we got to see TWO movies! in the theater!) Mostly we played with Heather, ate, played the train game, and shopped (for clothes and toys for Heather, and maternity clothes for Yours Truly). Upcoming trips and visits: in mid-October, we'll head out to New York and Boston to visit the Parks. There's a chance I'll have some business in Washington the week before that, in which case I'll bring Heather to visit the dJs. In any case, all four dJ siblings and Grandma Mary will visit us over Thanksgiving. Barbara might come back for a visit in early December. (She's taking a long leave between jobs right now, so really, when you think about it, she has nothing better to do than come visit her darling niece.) And then Grandma Mary will come to stay for a while after Twinkie's born, sometime in January. -- ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT I'm remembering now that Heather was really difficult to live with a lot of the time last fall, when she was around 18 months. It got to the point where she was so ornery and tantrum-y that we hardly ever went out to eat any more. Then things settled down somewhat, and she's generally been easy to live with and cooperative, though every month or so she goes through a difficult phase. Well, now that she's heading into two-and-a-half, those difficult phases seem to be lasting longer and getting more intense. (Though in early July, we went through a really serious tantrum phase -- howling, kicking, screaming, spitting for 20 or 30 minutes at a time -- and those seem to have gone away for the most part, at least temporarily... knock wood.) On top of her usual tantrums (which she's really perfected, having had the last year and a half to work on them), she also yells at us when we tell her she can't do something ("I CAN climb on the chair!"), and hits us or throws things at us if we persist in denying her her heart's desire. She also gets angry at her toys when they don't work the way she wants them too. The other day she was trying to fit a little doll into a toy car, and it wouldn't go in. She started yelling, then shrieking: "go in, I want you to go in, you go IN!!" Then she picked up the doll and bit it! Luckily, so far she hasn't done that to her friends or parents... A funny tantrum story: when she heads into a big tantrum, at least when we're at home, I first try to calm her or distract her, then say "well, let me know when you're ready to stop, and I'll hold you." Then I go about my business. A while ago, she was having a big tantrum, howling nothing in particular, but after a while, I realized she had started howling "I'm ready to stop! I'm ready to stop!" When I went in, she reached out her arms for me to hold her. At least she's learned to know when she's able to calm down somewhat. -- FASHION Heather is well into 2T clothing now -- I just put away a big box full of 18-month things that no longer fit. Aunt Barbara (a.k.a., "Aunt Bawbwa") requests me to point out that she arrived in the nick of time with Winnie-the-Pooh sneakers (Heather suddenly grew out of all of her shoes recently, including her beloved mary janes), and new pajamas. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts! Between those things, the shorts and tops Barbara brought, the shorts and tops Grandma Mary brought, the black velvet party dress I just couldn't resist, and the outrageous quantitity of fall clothing Grandma Mary bought Heather at Kids R Us during her recent visit, Heather continues to be the best-dressed 2-year-old around. However, she's started to make some of her own sartorial choices, and simply won't believe that you *don't* wear a hot-pink top, orange shorts, and red socks all at the same time. -- BUSY, BUSY, BUSY Incidentally, I really don't have time to be writing this, but I just had to send out the word about the potty thing, and also wanted to let everybody know about how well the LKP transition was going. Why don't I have time? Well, let's see. John has his oral qualifying exam in two weeks, so he's studying pretty much constantly these days. I have project demonstrations to give on Sept. 26, Sept. 30, and Oct. 4. I also have a mid-year project review for a fourth project, sometime in the next month or so. Plus we have a 2-1/2-year-old at home, in case you haven't noticed. I keep telling myself that things will get better in October (and they surely cannot get any MORE busy!), but then I'll probably be frantically trying to finish things up and take care of everything before I go out on maternity leave. Then, hopefully, a month of relative peace before our lives change forever (and get REALLY busy). -- STAY TUNED ...for the next fantastic installation of the Pebbles Press and Twinkie Tribune!