====================================================================== ========================== ======================== ======================== PEBBLES PRESS ======================= ======================= and ====================== ======================== TWINKIE TRIBUNE ======================= ========================== ======================== ====================================================================== ``The Straight Poop on Heather and Twinkie'' 18 April 1997 Vol. 4, No. 1 Joint Editors-in-Chief: Heather & Caroline Contributing Editors: John & Marie Fashion Editor: Aunt Susan -- TWINKIE TALK The big news this issue, of course, is the arrival of our newest family member: "Twinkie" is now Caroline Rose desJardins-Park. For the two or three people in the universe who missed the official announcement, she was born at 12:48 on January 2, only an hour or so after we got to the hospital, and less than 8 hours after my water broke. (If you want the full birth story, send me e-mail and I'd be glad to send it to you.) She was 8 lbs. 14 oz., and 20 inches long. At her 2-month appointment, she was 11 lbs. 14 oz. and 23 inches. Her 4-month appointment is in a couple of weeks; she's probably around 13.5 or 14 pounds and 24 or 25 inches by now. She started out so mellow and easy-going, we thought for sure we were getting the easy baby we deserved after Heather. But within a couple of weeks, she had started to get fussier, and pretty soon we realized that we had another fussbudget on our hands. We had to hold her *constantly*, and even then, she'd be fussy fairly often, especially in the evenings. To top it off, she *hated* the car, so whenever we had to go somewhere, she'd just scream and howl. (My friend Mikki had a good way to describe this -- their son was the same way, and they called his car seat "the electric chair.") Just the sight of it could set her off! The good news was that she's always been pretty good about sleeping at night -- even though she was getting up every 2 hours for the first month or so, she'd generally go right back to sleep after nursing. Then she started sleeping longer stretches, and by 2 months was up to a "long sleep" of 6 hours. These days she generally goes to sleep for the night anywhere from 7:30 to 9:30, and usually sleeps for 7 or 8 hours, wakes up to nurse, goes back to sleep for a few hours, wakes up to nurse again, and generally will go back to sleep with a bit of coaxing if it's still early. She did have a growth spurt when she was around 5 weeks old, when I was nursing her every hour and a half around the clock for 48 hours. Talk about sleep deprivation! The last few weeks have been much better fussing-wise. She doesn't cry much, except when she's tired or hungry or just overwhelmed, and will let us put her down in her floor gym or bouncy seat for fairly long periods. She coos and gurgles and even giggles when she's in a good mood, smiles at us regularly, and is starting to discover how her hands and feet work. She even tolerates the car much better -- she usually doesn't cry in it, again unless she's tired or hungry. Grandma Mary somehow convinced her that her pacifier was actually a *good* thing, so now she takes that, and it really helps to calm her down, especially at nap-time. Usually we just put her down (on her tummy, the only way she'll sleep; sorry, Tipper!), give her her pacifier if she seems to want it, and she'll fall asleep on her own. What else do you need to know about Caroline, if you haven't met her already? Well, like Heather, she has a full head of thick dark hair. Unlike Heather, hers is extraordinarily ill-behaved, and has a tendency to stick out at random angles. We get a lot of comments on her 'do. She's very strong (was lifting her head up the day after she was born, and now can hold herself up on her hands when she's lying on her tummy for 15 or 20 minutes, and loves to "stand" on our laps), but not incredibly active. She did just roll over (front to back) for the first time on Sunday, which was exciting! (But she hasn't done it again.) She's ticklish under her arms. She likes to go outside, and loves to be where there's a lot of activity going on. All in all, an engaging, adorable baby. -- SIBLING RIVALRY Actually, we haven't gotten *too* much of this yet. My guess is things will really start to heat up when Caroline can move around (read: "get into Heather's stuff"). For now, at least, Heather is very attached to "her baby" -- she likes to touch, kiss, and pat her; waves rattles around for her; finds her pacifier for her (Heather, of all people, understands the importance of a babboo); pushes her in her swing (sometimes a bit too vigorously...); and gets very upset when you hold her facing away from Heather ("I want to see her *face*!"). The other day I put a little outfit on her, and Heather said, "Oh, Caroline! You look really, really cute in your Pooh pajamas!" Heather does seem to be getting more jealous of the attention we give to Caroline, and often insists on being held by whichever one of us is currently holding Caroline. We've also had a couple of periods of tantrum behavior that were perhaps triggered by the new family member -- or who knows, they could just be the inevitable result of being three-ish.... -- ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT ...but when Heather decides to have a tantrum spell, she really goes for it. At one point she was having 6 or 7 major tantrums every day. Luckily, that only lasted for a week or so before she settled back down. When she does throw tantrums these days, they tend to involve more physical demonstrations of her anger than they used to. She often throws things, and sometimes hits me (not usually anybody else). She frequently throws herself on the floor and kicks and screams. She's gotten to the point where she generally wants to be alone when she's in mid-tantrum, but she doesn't want to be LEFT alone -- she'll run away from us, but if we walk out of the room, watch out. I've found that a really effective behavior-changing response is to leave the room. She usually comes running after me, howling "I don't want that! I don't want that! You have to stay!" -- TRIPS 'N' VISITS This year, we spent the holidays at home for the first time in quite a while. (We kind of had to -- the airlines tend not to be too thrilled about a 9-month-pregnant woman getting on board.) Since we knew we wouldn't be seeing our families then, we visited the Parks in New York and Boston in October, and the desJardins family came out to California for Thanksgiving. The highlight of the Boston trip was meeting Heather's new cousins, Amanda (a first cousin, Eddie and Donna's daughter) and Natalie (a second cousin, Kathy and John's daughter). They were both 8 months old when we visited, and both of them were nearly as big as Heather! We're looking forward to future visits as the kids grow up. The biggest event for us, though, was that John and I actually went away for a weekend alone together -- my mom and brother came out the weekend before Thanksgiving, and stayed with Heather while we went down to Monterey. It was pretty weird, being on a vacation without her. We realized Saturday afternoon that we were at loose ends, because we didn't have a nap schedule to work around! We managed to find things to keep us amused, though, had lots of nice meals without any spills or tantrums, and even saw a movie. Good thing we took advantage of the opportunity -- with two kids, the complexity of the logistics planning for a weekend away is definitely more than doubled. (It's at least the square of the complexity, or more likely some large-order exponential function.) -- SHOW OFF THE BABY TOUR The four of us (me, Heather, Caroline, and John) flew to New York (from San Francisco) on a night flight. The girls behaved fairly well, but John was exhausted after staying up all night the night before to finish his coursework, and I was coming down with a flu that Heather had just gotten over, so it was about as much fun as you would imagine a night flight across the country with two small children would be. New York was fun -- the Parks took Heather to the Bronx Zoo (while Caroline and I stayed home to rest); we visited John's mother in the nursing home a couple of times; we had plenty of good food; and we went to the top of the Empire State Building. Mostly we just hung around and relaxed. It was pretty cold (by our Californian standards, anyway), so we didn't do a lot of outdoorsy activities. After New York, John flew back to San Francisco, and I was on my own from there on out. (Yikes!) John's sister, Maria, came with me to La Guardia to pick up my mom, who arranged to fly back there from a business trip so she could drive down to Maryland (where she lives) with me. We had quite an adventure picking her up -- the parking lot was completely full, and they had NO signs redirecting people to another lot! By that point, I had two screaming kids in the back. (Caroline was in the electric chair, of course; and Heather started to get upset when she sensed my desperation.) I could SEE that there were a couple of empty spaces (from people who'd left after they closed the lot), so I drove up and basically demanded to be let in. If they hadn't let me in, I was going to pull over to the side and nurse her right there. But they did, so it turned out okay. Maryland was fun too, but more exhausting, being the only parent around -- i.e., the person most wanted by both Heather and Caroline. I actually did get a night out, though -- my mom and I went to the Baltimore Opera (we saw Il Trovatore, which was *wonderful*), and my sister and her boyfriend watched the kids. Unfortunately, Caroline fussed a lot and wouldn't take the bottle -- but at least Heather was an angel, as she invariably is for babysitters (but NOT always for us)! My dad and sister took Heather to the zoo one day, and my mom and I stayed home, took care of Caroline, and played games. Okay, now here's the Travel Day From Hell: On March 27th, my brother David, the girls, and I drove from Maryland up to Newark (3.5 hours if you don't stop). Of course, we had to stop a few times, since Caroline was still passionately despising the car, even with her pacifier. We got to the airport; parked the car; wrestled the girls, umbrella stroller, cart of luggage, wheeled suitcase that wouldn't fit on the cart, diaper bag, and miscellaneous unpacked objects to the terminal -- then the elevator wouldn't come. Just as I was about to get desperate and beg a passing stranger to help us carry everything up the escalator, it *finally* opened. We went upstairs, saw a long line at the Delta check-in counter, were directed outside to curb-check (should have done that instead of parking!), went to a broken door, got ourselves turned around and out a working door, finally got checked in, went to the gate, and boarded right away (yes, we cut it pretty close)! We flew to Cincinnati; got off; found out we had to take a bus over to the commuter terminal; wrestled Heather in the umbrella stroller and Caroline in the front pack, plus assorted carryons, onto the bus; rode over; got off; and waited through the one-hour layover. Okay, now here's where it gets fun. They weren't boarding the flight 10 minutes before scheduled takeoff time and hadn't made an announcement, so I gathered up both kids and all of our valuables from where we were spread out on the floor, went over, and asked. They said it was lightning out, and they couldn't refuel! But it should clear up soon, and they expected to board in 10-15 minutes. So we went back and sat down. Ten minutes later, they announced that due to high winds, there was a ground hold and *no* flights were taking off. Luckily, just then I noticed a play area for kids, so we went over and let Heather play there (she met another 3-year-old and they had a great time together). Finally, maybe 45 minutes later, they made another announcement -- still on ground hold, no idea when it will be lifted. So we went and got some McDonald's and strawberry ice cream. On the way back, they started making another announcement, which I couldn't hear, so I asked somebody who worked there what was up. She said there were high winds and a tornado warning, so they were evacuating everybody to the basement! I rushed over, grabbed as much of my stuff as I could carry (since I had no idea how long we'd be down there), and lugged Caroline and the stuff downstairs. Luckily, as long as Heather had her ice cream, she was happy, so she just came along without complaining. We were downstairs maybe 20 minutes, then came back up. Finally they started boarding some flights. We almost missed ours -- I hadn't heard them say our flight number, and all of a sudden they're making the final boarding call! So we raced over there like crazy people, then had to dash through the rain out to the plane and struggle up the wet steps with all of the junk that had been draped over the stroller (which we had to check, of course). The rest of the trip was nothing by comparison -- just a one-hour flight and 1.5-hour drive from Memphis to Oxford, Mississippi, where Penny and Terry live. The visit there was a blast. They have a 3-year-old too, and are expecting another baby in June. Heather and Ross had a wonderful time playing together; Penny and I talked our heads off about kids, babies, pregnancy, and life as working moms; and Terry watched all 3 kids one night so we could go out to dinner alone. The trip home wasn't bad at all, compared with the Maryland-to- Mississippi leg. Just a 1-hour flight, followed by a 3-hour flight that was only delayed by 20 minutes. On the second flight, Heather took a good length nap, and another couple with a 2-year-old offered to hold Caroline for a while, which was a nice break. -- BUSY, BUSY, BUSY I'm just finishing up my second week back at work. I'm slowly remembering what work is all about, and we seem to have come up with a schedule for shared child care that will work. Caroline's in day care 3 mornings a week, and John and I are splitting the rest of the time. I'm working Monday mornings, Tuesday all day, Wednesday mornings, and Friday mornings. So far I really like this schedule -- I have a couple of full days of work, and I get Monday afternoon and Thursday all day to enjoy Caroline, sandwiched by kid-free (albeit work-full) days to recuperate. The thing I've discovered is that while having a child cut back substantially on our leisure time, having two kids leaves us saying "leisure time? what's that?" Whenever one kid's demands let up, the other one needs me. And on the *rare* occasion when neither one of them needs me, I'm at work, or frantically trying to control the chaos that envelops our house. (Incidentally, to follow up on the last issue's BUSY, BUSY, BUSY column: John passed his oral exams. I wrote twenty-seven proposals (only a slight exaggeration). The good news is that two of them got funded, so we have plenty of project work. The bad news is that two of them got funded, so we have PLENTY of project work.) -- ALL THE POOP THAT'S S*IT TO PRINT [Warning: not for the squeamish] So much for potty training. Every now and then, Heather wants to wear underpants, but it never lasts very long. She just doesn't seem to have much interest in this particular achievement. Well, we figure she'll probably be trained by kindergarten. At least the advantage to having a tiny child is that she can stay in diapers until she's in junior high, and we still won't have trouble finding her size. Breastmilk poops: imagine a large jar of French's mustard. Now imagine it out of the jar. Now imagine it oozing into every crevice, out the edges of a baby's diaper, and onto every object the baby comes into contact with. (Luckily, she only does this once every 3 days or so. Of course, that could also explain the phenomenal volume when she does finally go...) Oddly, the closest recognizable odor is buttered popcorn. Every time somebody pops a bag in the microwave, those mothers' instincts kick in and I start looking around for a box of baby wipes. [Y'all really have to learn to skip this section if you don't want to hear about the nasty stuff.] -- BABY TALK The baby in our family loves to coo and gurgle. Her best sound is "ga." She's a real "ga" expert at this point. She occasionally branches out into "goo" or just a throaty "g-g-g-g-ggg" gurgle. Heather doesn't really belong in the "Baby Talk" column any more -- these days she's a full-fledged preschooler, and talks better than some adults I know. Random Heather anecdotes: One day a few months ago, Heather was playing naptime with John, spreading out these vinyl tablecloths for him to take a nap on. Then she brought over a folded-up sheet from the laundry pile and said, "Do you need a sheet? It's softer on a sheet. You should try it." Can't argue with that. Here's one exchange that had us puzzled: Heather: Is that a cat? John: I think that's a badger. H: I think it's a bunny, actually. J: It could be, it could be... H: Oh, reallly? [pause] That's funny! I'm not sure where the humor in this one comes from. Maybe she just thought it was outrageous that Daddy could be so foolish as to mistake a bunny for a badger. -- STAY TUNED ...for the next fantastic installation of the Pebbles Press and Twinkie Tribune!